Why Do My New Year Resolutions Fail?

It's that time of the year again! The gym is packed, healthy smoothies are replacing coffees and alcohol, and self-help books are flying off the shelves. Yes, it's the season of New Year's resolutions!

But, let's face it – within a few weeks, most of these ambitious goals would already be crumbled. The initial surge of motivation accompanying the New Year often goes off, leaving behind a trail of unfulfilled goals.

But why do our New Year's resolutions, fueled by strength and determination, usually meet an untimely demise?

The answer lies in the intricate workings of our minds.

One of the primary reasons our New Year's resolutions go awry is the tendency to set unrealistic expectations. Psychologically speaking, humans are creatures of habit. Human nature is resistant to abrupt and drastic changes. The pitfalls of unrealistic expectations and the grandiosity of our resolutions often set us up for failure.

Instead of focusing on sweeping changes, psychologists recommend breaking down goals into smaller, more manageable steps. For example, instead of resolving that 'I will read 50 books this year', make a more feasible resolution, such as 'I will start reading one book for one month first.'

Understanding the psychology of change reveals that mere obligation isn't enough to fuel lasting transformation.

Counsellors always emphasise the importance of tapping into the "why" behind our resolutions. When our goals are aligned with intrinsic desires rather than societal pressures, we are more likely to stay committed.

Psychologically, the pain of not changing must outweigh the discomfort of change for a resolution to endure. Hence, one is to bring out the missing 'why' factor. A 'why' being 'I would love to shed a few kilos for my body' is more likely to succeed than 'I will look more desirable to society if I become thin'.

Psychological preparedness is a key component of successful resolution-keeping. Making impulsive resolutions without sufficient mental and emotional groundwork leads to early surrender.

Studies indicate that resolutions made with thoughtful consideration and planning are more likely to withstand the test of time. As the saying goes, failing to plan is planning to fail – a truism echoed in the world of psychology.

No goal is immune to obstacles. Anticipate challenges and develop strategies to navigate them. This proactive approach minimizes setbacks and maintains momentum. Celebrate each accomplishment and foster a sense of progress, but at the same time, be a little tough on yourself if you want to succeed. The power of accountability cannot be overstated. Those who write down and share their goals are twice as likely to achieve them. Whether through friends, accountability groups, technology, or coaching, having someone to answer heightens motivation.

Also, a pro tip for you! Don't fall into the 'tradition' trap. Just because your friends have set a massive list of attractive resolutions doesn't mean you also undergo the same pressure. The allure of setting resolutions as a tradition can inadvertently sabotage our chances of success. While the New Year symbolizes a fresh start for many, the decision to make resolutions should be rooted in a genuine need for change.

Traditions, when divorced from personal motivations, become mere routines lacking the power to drive transformation. At the end of the day, we have to remember that we are doing this for ourselves and only for ourselves!

It's not about the grandeur of the goal but the sustainability of the journey that leads to lasting change.

At SafeTherapy, we help you connect with a therapist who will help you set realistic goals for yourself. Come and talk to us <3

This blog is written by Tiya Sharma (a psychologist in training).