I think my friends secretly dislike me.
What do I do?
Lets be honest: this feeling sucks. It’s like walking into a room full of people you love, but instead of warmth, you sense an invisible wall between you and them.
What’s making you think that? Did something happen, or is it more of a gut feeling?
Now, lets break this feeling down. When we feel like our friends secretly dislike us, a few things could be happening:
Gut Feelings vs. Overthinking:
Sometimes, our instincts pick up on subtle cues—short replies, a shift in tone, inside jokes we’re left out of.
Other times, anxiety or self-doubt convinces us of things that aren’t true. Our brain fills in the blanks with worst-case scenarios.
Shifts in Behavior:
Are they acting different lately? Less engaged, avoiding plans, or excluding you?
Or could life just be pulling them in different directions (stress, relationships, personal struggles)?
Self-Perception vs. Reality:
If you already feel insecure about your place in the group, even neutral behavior might feel like rejection.
But sometimes, friendships do change—people grow apart, and that’s painful but natural.
So…what exactly is making you feel this way? Something specific they did? Or is it more of an overall vibe?
Once we figure out why you feel this way, we can decide what to do about it.
If it’s more of you overthinking, maybe it’s time to reality-check those thoughts:
Are you assuming things without proof?
If a friend did the same thing to someone else, would it seem like dislike or just normal behavior?
Have they been good friends in the past? Would they really just flip on you?
If it’s actual behavior changes, you’ve got a few options:
Talk to them – Not in an accusing way, but something like, "Hey, I’ve been feeling a little distant from you guys lately. Is everything okay between us?"
Observe more – Sometimes, giving it a bit more time reveals whether it’s just a phase or a real issue.
Shift focus – If you’re always the one putting in effort and they’re not, maybe it’s time to invest energy in friendships that make you feel valued.
So—what’s your gut telling you? Are these thoughts mostly in your head, or do you think something is really off?
If it’s mostly in your head, then challenge the thoughts. Not every unanswered text or canceled plan means they dislike you. Try focusing on what you know rather than what you fear.
If something is really off, address it. You can either talk to them or take a step back and see if they make an effort to include you. Friendships should feel mutual, not like you’re chasing after people.
If they actually don’t value you, that sucks, but it’s not the end. Not everyone we care about will reciprocate equally. It doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of amazing friends—just that these may not be your people anymore. And that opens the door for better ones.
So, what’s your gut saying now?
Now, you decide: Do you want to talk to them, wait and observe, or shift your focus elsewhere?
You don’t have to make a dramatic move. Sometimes, just pulling back a little and seeing what happens is enough. If they care, they’ll notice. If they don’t…well, that’s information too.
So, what’s your next step?
💛But, here are a few things you should know 💛
Your value isn’t tied to whether a few people are acting weird.
Think of someone who truly appreciates you—how would they describe you?
Instead of worrying if people like you, ask: Do I even like how they’re treating me?
Show up for yourself. Treat yourself like a friend. You’re stuck with you forever—make it a good relationship.
You are worthy of love, kindness, and good things—just as you are. You don’t have to earn it, prove anything, or be more than you already are. You are enough. And even on the days when you don’t feel it, that truth doesn’t change.
If you want to talk to a professional about how you’re feeling, our therapists at SafeTherapy have got your back. Talk to us.